Thug Muggers in the Sewers 1/21/23
Table Talk:
Before we got started, i had Sarah look up the subject of Attunement for magical items:
“Without becoming attuned to an item that requires attunement, a creature gains only its non-magical benefits, unless its description states otherwise . . . . Attuning to an item requires a creature to spend a Short Rest focused on only that item while being in physical contact with it. This focus can take the form of weapon practice (weapon), meditation (wondrous item), or some other appropriate activity. If the Short Rest is interrupted, the attunement attempt fails. Otherwise, at the end of the Short Rest, the creature gains an intuitive understanding of how to activate any Magical Properties of the item, including any necessary Command words.”
And i gave her the Magic Item Card i made up for Rae’s new Staff of Consciousness.
“A quarterstaff with bronze pins in the ends & runes on the middle handle. Once attuned, a Staff of Consciousness will hover around its owner and follow them. When not being held, the Staff can take actions, or a turn in combat at the end of its owner’s turn. On its own, the staff takes no bonuses and does ½D4 damage, or can push objects less than 5 lbs. When wielded, the Staff grants advantage on attack rolls and does 2D4 damage. A Staff of Consciousness can NEVER be sheathed, wrapped or contained.”
I also specified that the attunement for the staff will need to be practicing with it.
After last week’s session, I realized that I had forgotten to have Ashley and Akris (me) roll for Sorin and Akris making the map of the area he scouted in the second level. During the week, I texted her and we both rolled 17’s. So, the map they make during this rest will be quite good, with them working well together, and growing their bond. I gave her the print out of the map they made
Last up everyone rolled for the Hp they WOULDN’T be getting back this Long Rest due to the conditions of the camp. As a reminder, everyone (except Cypress who is comfortable and gets full health back) gets their full Hp back, MINUS one Hit Dice. Oh, and Ari has disadvantage, and Rae has double disadvantage. Remember when they each rolled a D10 (Rae twice)? That was to see how wet their belongings got while they were passed out in the dripping water. Ari only rolled one (got a 2, so barely anything was wet), because she was revived right away by Cypress. Meanwhile Rae had to roll twice (got two 9’s so basically everything is wet and some items are soaked through) because she was laying in the water and passed out for so long, she even ended a session and started the next unconscious in the water. Sarah was pissed at the double disadvantage because she rolled a 2, a 1, and a 7 and so had to take 7 off her starting Hp.
“No art is possible without a dance with death.”
—Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death”
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
Chapter 12: A Soggy Soggy Rest (cont.)
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿 Chapter 12: A Soggy Soggy Rest (cont.)
Rae sits examining her staff as everyone starts to drift asleep. She looks at the little card attached to its handle with a piece of rough tan twine. In a somehow familiar lizardy scratchy handwriting it says;
“Staffe of Consciousness (refiurbiss used):
Canne hover and acte under the owner's commandes.
Has its owne wille.
Regu Requierd Must be useed in one full round of prak practis
training before the Staffe is attinuateateated and knows whom
it’s new owner is.
How old is Devin? The question dawns on Rae as she looks at some of the olde worlde words. Some words are misspelled and crossed out, and it appears that Devin doesn't know when to stop spelling ‘attenuated’ but the message is clear enough.
“So in order to use it as a magic staff, I need to practice and train with it so it gets to know me…” Rae mutters to herself after reading the note.
She hears a stirring in the darkness and then Cypress muttering, “If you even think about jumping around on these crates, or splashing in the water all night I swear…”
Rae glares at the back of the figure curled up in his blanket then sighs. Even if she did want to, she admits to herself, she doesn’t feel up to it tonight. Her whole body aches, and she thinks she can almost remember being dead. She shivers and thinks about the zombie. She looks around to make sure everyone is resting, and that their faces are turned away from her. Slowly she reaches up to her neck to check her pulse, then lets out a sigh of relief. Zombies do not have a pulse. . . right?
With unsettling thoughts about life and death and morality and un-morality banging around in her head, Rae tries to meditate and rest. She occasionally pinches the back of her hand and watches the color flow back into it. It’s an anxious night for our dear Rae, and she doesn’t get much rest.
Through the night, the ceiling overhead occasionally shakes with the rumble of thunder above, the water keeps dripping down.
Drip
Drip
Dripdrip
Drip
We wake up… still tired. The bars or ropes of our ‘beds’ digging into our backs and butts. Except for Cypress who wakes up feeling fine, if still a little damp around the knees.
Everyone, roll a luck roll; just a straight D20.
Ari is having a nice dream of swinging, like Tarzan in a lush jungle. She grabs vine after vine, cruising high in the treetops. Suddenly a voice in her dream sings ‘Ari, Ari, Zavari o’ the Jungle, watch out for that-’ and she slams into a thick tree trunk. Ari’s eyes jerk wide open as the dream version of herself slammed into the tree. The only thing beneath her is muddy water, and she wonders why her fingers and ankle are going numb. Ari gimme a Dex Save. 4. A bleary-brained Ari flexes her hands and foot to get the blood flowing… letting go of her rope-hammock. She is suddenly VERY awake as the cold gritty water washes over her face.
She sits up, and her head is just a little above the water. She pushes herself to her feet, her wet leather armor making that awful squeaking sound as it rubs together and she stands.
‘This might be a problem,’ Cypress thinks as he looks at her. The water is up over her knees now, just about chest high for him. It seems that that easy, relaxed rest (compared to the others) may have come at a bit of a price with the rain continuing through the night. Trying to think his way out of having to ride on someone's back, Cypress sits on the edge of his cage and sticks his staff in the water. He plumbs the water with it until he feels the rocks underneath. He thinks for a moment, then bends over and seems to whisper to his staff. Cypress casts Thaumaturgy through the staff and into the water. Pushing it out from the staff in a wide circle. For a minute, he is content with himself until he feels the water pushing back. The weight of the water around his dry circle is pushing hard against his will as it tries to flow back in. After a moment Cypress realizes that the water is just too strong. He lets go of the magic, before the crushing force of all the water forces the magic back up the stick, to his arm, and crushes his bones.
The water flows back in gentle ripples sloshing back and forth in the room.
Without missing a beat, Bostra takes the opportunity to dip his empty helmet into the water, pulling it back out about half full. He sets it between his legs and reaches into his back. After a moment of rummaging, he pulls out a small round tin can and takes the top off. Inside, is a bright red stone. He whispers into it and it begins to glow. Bostra pulls out a cigar from a metal case tucked inside his shirt and holds it to the glowing rock, puffing it alight. Then, he puts the little tin under his helmet, and sits back to wait.
Cypress thinks for a minute and looks up, “Ari, you know Thaumaturgy, right?”
“Yeah, I cast it to make the goat sound and scare that Thug, remember?”
“Right, right, but do you know how to do other things with it? Do you think you could mimic what I just did with the water?”
Ari thinks about it and says, “Yeah, I think so, it would help to watch you again.”
Cypress casts, then right as the water pressure gets to be too much for him, he grunts, “Okay, now you try.” The water starts to flow back as he releases.
Ari Stands there and casts. She focuses the spell through her boots instead of the staff, and the water flows away again, leaving the same dry ring around the room. She grins at Cypress, then clutches her head when she feels the water pressure pushing back against her.
“Let go!” Cypress says hurriedly, flinging a hand out towards her.
Ari lets go with a little pant. When she does, Cypress casts again keeping the water at bay. He feels the strain and looks back at Ari.
“Okay, again.”
She casts, and the water stays back. Cypress counts under his breath and when he sees the edge of the water start to tremble, says, “Now me.”
Air releases, and he casts again, holding the water back. At the count of five, he says, “Now you.”
Ari takes it up and counts with him, smiling now. On five she lets go and Cypress casts again.
As Ari and Cypress work together, getting their rhythm in sync, Bostra pulls out a vial of blue powder and a vial of yellow powder, dumping them into his, now boiling, helmet of water. The room begins to smell like scramble eggs and butter.
Once they have a good rhythm going back and forth, Cypress nods to Ari. They both stop casting and let the water gently flow back. Despite himself, Cypress smiles. “Yeah, I think that’ll work. It’ll be a good way for us to stay dry when we head out.”
Rae is digging through her bag. Her tired, bloodshot eyes look at one soggy ration after another. She sighs and starts to pack them back up. Maybe by midday they’ll dry out a little. Ari walks over to her and takes her pack off the cage. She hands Rae some pieces of jerky and a roll with a smile. Rae looks relieved and smiles back.
Everyone enjoys their damp breakfast. Bostra Pulls out a fork and starts eating the mashed potato looking mounds in his helmet. It smells like roast chicken.
A little while later, everyone has their gear together, and their packs back on their backs. Ari and Cypress start their Thaumaturgy cycle and everyone lines up to head out. As we walk down the Thug tunnel, Rae is happy to see a steady drip of water running out of her pack each time they cast the spell. It seems, the magic is also slowly pushing the water out of her belongings.
The Thug Muggers walk back into the corridors of the sewers and look around. Cypress sees the water level out here is only about ankle high and, deciding that’s low enough not to worry about, he lets go of the magic holding back all the water from the Thug tunnels. As soon as he does, the wall of nearly two foot tall water comes pouring into the sewers.
“Quick get the door!”
“No, wait, it needs to drain out of the Thug tunnels,” Cypress says.
Bostra’s voice echos from down by the cages, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, I don’t think the sewer drains were built for that much water all at once!”
Behind the door, Sorin strains his little scholarly arms (4 on a Strength check) trying to push the wall closed. “Rae,” he pants, “help-”
Rae sighs and puts her hands on his back. She braces her legs.
“Wait wh-”
Rae shuts the door. She does this by pushing on Sorin, who is then pushed hard against the wall as it closes.
“Thanks.” he says, his face still stuck to the brick work.
“Huh,” Cypress says casually, “I guess we could’ve kept casting Thaumaturgy until we closed the door.” He shrugs, “Oh well.”
Sorin is left standing and stuttering as the others walk up the hallway to Pulgrok’s office.
Pulgrok’s young tail splashes in the water as he swims back and forth across the river. It’s a field-trip day, so the teachers brought the Froglets and Taddies out to a field. He and his younger brother are racing back and forth from bank to bank. It’s a tough race. His tail is thicker and stronger, but Grolpuk is young enough that his tail still has some fin left. Pulgrok is grinning and gulping in water. It’s the last lap! It’s throat and throat (like neck and neck, but for frogs)! He stretches out, his tail flicking, and-
There is a knock at the door.
“*Croak* wh- hurm-hngufh?”
There is silence, then another knock.
Pulgrok sits up in his bed, tossing the slimy, wet woven-seaweed-sheets off himself. With a wet ‘Thwack Thwack’, his feet slide through his pants and slap on the tiles of the floor. Stuffing his uniform shirt down into them, he yells, “Braroak! Come on in.”
As we enter his office, we see Pulgrok emerging from the wooden divider that hides his bedding. He is pulling the straps of his overalls up over his shoulders and before he pulls the shirt loops over the button, we see his milky-pale chest. “Good *croak* morning, Thug Muggers.” He says, pulling his vest on, and catching a little ceramic leaf as it falls from one of the pockets. He slides it back in and says, “You’re earlier than I expected today.”
“So are we getting paid th-” Sorin starts before a stinging in his knee makes him wince.
“Good morning, Pulgrok.” Says a voice just about knee-level. Cypress bows his head slightly in respect, “Sorry to have woken you so early.”
Pulgrok bows his head slightly in return to the respectful little halfling, “Thank you, s-
“So do we get paid today?” Sorin asks, with all the tact of a freight train running over a school bus.
Pulgrok blinks slowly (and with three inch wide eyeballs, he can blink very slowly).
“Well *offended croak* I have your amounts totalled from last night.” He pulls a pince nez out of one pocket and a small notepad from the other. “If, you *accountant croak* decide to apply all of your earning to your debt now-”
“Guys I really need forty-”
“*interrupting croak* To apply all of your earnings to your debt now!” Pulgrok continues over Sorin, “Then you would be paid off in full and each get some Gold pieces back as solid pay. Then, *croak* you would have the option to continue as regular employee’s or not as you like.”
This time Sorin waits for a breath and a half before saying, “Okay, but guys I reeeaaallly need that 40 gold to get those goggles.” extending the ‘reeeaaallly’ like a 6 year old doing the potty dance and saying they have to pee.
With a collective groaning, but a surprising amount of team-work, the group decides to let Sorin get his 40 Gold, and pay the rest into the Thug Muggers’ debt. This leaves 31 Gold 6 Silver and 6 Copper left to pay off.
Ari thinks for a moment and asks, “Are we getting charged with the damage to the wall the Gelatinous Cube was trying to break through.”
Pulgroks nods silently, because doing his voice for too long really hurts my throat.
“I suppose,” Cypress says, scratching his chin, “We were the ones that opened the grate so the Cube could damage the wall trying to escape.”
Pulgrok nods again, “Usually,” he adds, “we have one person working the cranks, and we talk to them with sending stones when we we need them opened and *croak* closed.” He nods again.
The group stares at him with a collective “Ooooh”.
Akris breaks in hissing a snake giggle, “That would work, but they need all four of them just to not die!” he laughs.
As everyone gets ready to leave, Pulgrok croaks. If anyone here spoke Bullywog they would know it as the ‘wait, i have information for the hunt’ croak. “Remember, you need to *croak* get the new baby Cubes into the Crypt Drainage Rooms. I cannot give you your task bonuses, *sidenote croak* or release you from duty, until you do.” (Also i, the DM, won’t give out the quest XP until you do.) He motions over to the map of the sewers and points. “This is the room they are growing in. *afterthought croak* There should be another Sewer staff member working somewhere around there, and they can help guide you.”
We cross through the Fountain Exchanger Room we first encountered in Book Two, Chapter Two. The fog around the fountain is minimal this time, condensing and dripping around the fountain. And, this time, no one tries to lick any electric potatoes. We turn down the hallway, towards the four way intersection with the large grate in the floor.
Everyone, roll a Perception check.
As we walk past one of the side mechanical rooms, Ari and Cypress hear something banging. They quickly shush Rae and Sorin. Ari darts to one side of the entrance, then waves Rae over. Everyone readies themselves around the archway to the room, listening to the sound of banging metal. After a moment, Ari and Cyress nod to each other and slowly creep into the room.
The sound is coming from inside one of the large pipes. There are two in this room big enough to walk through, like the one we went through on 6/11/22, right before our first Giant Centipede fight. The banging sounds like some sort of metal on metal and is coming from the pipe right in front of us. It’s getting closer.
Cypress readies Burning Hands.
A face pokes out of the dark hole, it’s green and slimy and… hot?
I blurred this one, in case you are in public or something. Click on it to see the sexy frog lady.
Out steps an absolute BABE! She’s a stone cold fox…well toad…well Bullywog. Her bald head glistens in the torchlight, perfect and green and moist, like oak leaves wet after a summer rain. Her perky throat sac giggles just a little as she stands up. Thick, hard leather straps hold her overalls up on slim muscled shoulders. She turns back around and bends over to pick up her tool box. The pads of her cold wet finger pads are calloused from hard work. When she bends over, the overalls pull thigh over a firm, sexy vent (scientific term for a frog butt, look it up), and thicc muscular thighs. She turns back and we see her uniform shirt under the leather dungarees is open a few bottoms in the heat. Sweat gleams on her pasty pale ches — this is my life now huh? 31 years olds, and THIS is what i’m writing. Ya know, i took classes in writing and fiction and complex literary theory. I was president of a college writing organization, and head editor for their published book of works. I got paid to judge writing competitions. I’ve met with national loreits. But this; this is where i am now, writing D&D frog smut for free on the internet. *sigh* life huh? Anyways. — Sweat gleams on her pasty pale chest. A pair of sultry red eyes go wide, black slit pupils turning to wide open rectangles (google toad eyes). A strong supple hand flies up to her mouth in a Betty Boop pose, it’s a lovely dark green with innocent pale freckles on it. She is very sexy.
The sexy frog-lady drops her tool box to the ground in a clatter. She raises a large ballpeen hammer and looks around frantically.
“*battle cry croak* Thugs! Thugs!”
Ari holds out her open hands, “Wait, wait, no, we’re not Thugs! We work for the Sewers! For Pulgrok!”
Cypress quickly dispels the readied Burning Hands spell.
After a brief exchange where Ari explains they are the Thug Muggers and that they work for Pulgrok, the sexy frog-lady slowly lowers the hammer.
After a bit of introductions, we learn this Bullywog Babe is Belgruuse (pronounced BĒl-grūss). She has a voice similar to Pulgroks, only a bit higher pitched, and it hurts me even more to do. She also works for the sewers, fixing, repairing, and installing things.
“Can you take us to the room where the Baby Gelatinous Cubes are?”
“Oh yes, Pulgrok said you would be coming to get them and take them to the Crypt Drainage Rooms.”
We follow Belgruuse down to where the four hallways meet in the intersection with the large grate in the floor, and then further west, the only direction over here that we didn’t really go before.
Belgruuse stops here for a minute and points down at the drainage grate on the floor. When she does we all realize that the floors in these mechanical areas are dry. The floor is angled just enough to keep them dry, but it's so subtle we hardly noticed.
“You will *informative croak* have to be careful when you move the Cubes. These drain grates on the floor hurt them. If the they *croak* lose too much health on the way there, they won’t last.” She points to the glow of the mechanical rooms further down the hall. “You could *croak* try taking them through the mechanical areas. They don’t have grates in the floors, but *cautionary croak* you will have to be VERY careful. If they touch the equipment they could damage it. *anxious croak* and that could be a huge problem.”
So this is the puzzle: find a way to steer the Baby Gelatinous Cubes, and find a way to get them into their new rooms without damaging them or the sewers too much. Good luck. Oh, and i guess, don’t let them hurt you too much either.
After a communal groan we walk on.
At the end of this hallway we enter a large room, and here the summary ends. There actually was a bit more that happened, but i decided i need to redo the room a little bit, and i need to write a proper description for the room. Since it’s a crucial piece to the puzzle, it’s important everyone understands it as well as possible. After some discussion, we decided that that description would be the start of next week's session.
“I knew it would be worth following you two, people don’t trek all the way into the darkness without a little knowledge to light the way.”
-Evelyn Hardcastle —Stuart Turton “The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle: 53”
Table talk:
We actually ended things a bit early this week. A couple players were feeling very sick, and i suspect someone threw up during the game (and not because of my gross descriptions this time, though the toad erotica might make them throw up again). So, we didn’t have much discussion at the end.
I will be getting a better map of the Gelatinous Nursery this week so people have a better idea of what this room looks like and what they have to work with. I’ll also be getting a map made up of the area and a rough path showing where the Cubes need to get to. That map will mark the grates on the floors and i’ll try to get some grates made up for the tabletop as well.
