Thug Muggers in the Sewer 1/6/23
Table Talk:
Click for Cuneiform video
We all had a fun time opening holiday gifts since it was our first time being in-person in a while. I won’t recap everything, as it was a nice personal moment, but everyone did get a group gift based on their in-game character that the group as a whole pitched in for.
I gave Brooke the Sealed note that Ari had picked up. Brooke broke the seal and looked at the writing. After some discussion trying to decide which way is up, I explained that it will take Rolls from Sorin and Ari to translate it. The note is written in Cuneiform. Since Cuneiform was written by pressing the end of a square rod into clay to form various triangles, it makes sense to me as the perfect language for Wererats dipping their claws in ink. It will take Sorin’s knowledge of different languages to understand the letters, and Ari’s understanding of codes to figure out the meaning. If they succeed together, they’ll get the full translation.
I explained that between sessions i occasionally make dice rolls about the world itself, how stores might be, what devin might have, what factions are happening, etc, and i showed everyone my Die with the weather on it.
Mechanic Talk:
The general consensus online seems to be the a non-rouge doing a Sneak Attack is generally treated as just advantage. I also explained that i sometime treat advantage in different ways, not just an extra dice roll, but poisoning, or knocking prone, like lasting. Everyone agreed that this was fair.
“You know, Justin, it has been a long week, and I don't know, are we just flesh held together by farts?”
-Dr. Syndee McElroy, “Sawbones: A Marital Tower of Misguided Medicine: Pirate Medicine Chapter One”
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
Chapter 11: Find the Cube, find the cube, step right up and find the cube (cont.)
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿 Chapter 11: Find the Cube, find the cube, step right up and find the cube (cont.)
Rae leads the troop with Cypress close behind, his moss-ball-lantern tied to his staff overhead. As the lantern shifts left and right, so does the scrap of paper underneath it. Ari and Sorin are each holding a side of the scroll and Sorin is noting different letters with a pencil he pulled out from one of his books. Ari is tapping words here and there, filling in some of the code to decipher the message. As we come back to the corner of the overflow block, this is what they read:
“We have another funeral now on the night of the 4th.
Be sure to check the store room and get the Potion bottle lined up behind the gate. Here is the key, so you can get back.
Remember, we have a new quota to fill this month so we'll need to make more potions. See if you can find more indigence in town when you're back to 'human', just don't go to the same shop as last time, we don't want them to catch on.”
We’re walking back east to see if any of those cranks opened up the grate we saw a little bit ago. As we do, we hear the pipes on the walls start to hiss. It’s midday on the 3rd of Kythorn as we move through the hallways of sewer tunnels and we hear a gurgling sound. Everyone looks at Ari’s stomach. Then as Sorin is about to offer her a snack we hear it again. A sloshing wet gurgle that seems to be coming from all around us. The pipes on the walls aren’t just hissing now, but humming. Along the pipes on the walls, water starts to drip out of little grates on their tops.
Cypress’s senses reach out to the world around him and he feels the rain clouds above. High in the sky his heart senses the fat lazy weight of the clouds as they pour themselves joyfully on to the city. His new druid senses feel the ground soaking it up like a sponge. The earth itself sighing with contentment as the flowers and trees on its back begin to swell.
Sorin’s mind is racing as he pieces together everything he’s learned so far about the sewers. He closes his eyes and visualizes a map of the walls, and the pipes, and all the workings he’s seen so far. His mind's eye follows the rushing water up to the surface and sees the grates on the roads filling with rain water.
Around us the water in the pipes begins to drip to the floor.
We walk down the tunnel and our boots start to splash as the water makes the cobblestones slick. Little catch basins collect and drain most of it away but the brick and cobble floor is still an uneasy terrain with the thin layer of water pouring over it.
We come up to the arch way, and Good News! The iron grate is open! There is bad news though. It looks like a small Gelatinous Cube has taken the opportunity of the open grate to start squorlching down the hallway.
Beyond the archway is a small chamber with baby gelatinous ooze leavings getting washed away in the fresh rain water. On the other side of the small room is another now-open archway leading to another large room with the same right angle square dome style as the last Cube room. And of course, lurking inside it, looming and seeming to glare at us, is a full sized Cube.
“We can’t let it get away and out into the sewers!” Cypress uses his small stature and quick feet to duck around Rae (Halfling Nimbleness trait), and casts Thorn Whip attempting to lasso and pull the Baby Cube back. The whip cuts into the cube for 4 damages but when Cypress pulls it back, it passes right through. In fact it gives off bubbles as the young Cube sucks some of the life from the magic vines.
Rae draws her sword and steps over and around Cypress. She lifts the sword and aims the blow, lining the hilt up with the faint glow inside the cube. She swings. The sword hits almost no resistance as she brings it down through the jello-like monster, cutting it in half.
With a wobble-wubble-fwump-thump the two halves reform into smaller thigh-high cubes, and one immediately dashes down the hallway, skidding around the corner in the film of rain water.
Ari groans and pulls out her bow. She looses an arrow directly into the faint glowing center of the cube. The light goes out, and the membranous walls collapse. The puddle of ooze sloshes into the wet floor, dissolving in water.
Sorin takes off running, bumping into everyone and dashing around the corner to keep eyes on the tiny Cube. He turns the corner, and gulps. The passageway is full of eight Stirge zipping and flying around. One is trying to suck some life out of the tiny Gelatinous Cube when the Cube lurches and consumes it, wings and all! Sorin watches as its reddish wings dissolve in the transparent gooey mass. “Um, hey guys?”
“What is it?”
Cypress Rae and Ari all run over.
“Oh that’s convenient.”
“Yeah, we just have to let them kill each other”
Cypress looks up. “You do realize that the longer this goes on, the tougher those Stirge are gonna be to kill, AND the cube is going to get bigger and be harder to take out.”
As Cypress says this, a Stirge swoops down and digs its proboscis into the tiny cube, pecking and sucking at the bloody remains of its brother floating inside. When there aren’t any large pieces left, the now-fat Stirge starts to fly away before being caught and sucked into the growing Gelatinous Cube. A little voice whispers, “Isn’t nature wonderful?”
“Okay yeah, good point.” Ari casts Poison Spray for the second time that day. The Cube splü-ôrcks out of the way, leaving a Stirge to take the poison right in the face.
Sorin lets loose another firebolt, killing that same Stirge hovering just over the Cube. As it dies, it falls into the Cube, becoming absorbed and instantly growing the Cube a little more.
Another Stirge flies over and lands on Ari, sucking at the same spot on her neck where Riccardo’s poisonous bite was just healed.
Cypress takes aim at the Stirge succking on Ari, but as he lines up his shot, his foot slips in the water, and the ball of Sacred Flame ignites a few inches behind its flapping wings.
Rae fires an arrow from her short bow, but it misses by so much that it goes through the fourth wall, and smears my notes so i’m not even sure what she was aiming at.
Next in the order is a series of weird rolls, missed attacks, and nat 0’s, that leaves the group staring as the Baby Cube and a Stirge basically swap the same blood back and forth for a full round of combat, like the world’s most discussing dungeon make-out party.
Ari attempts to slice the Stirge off her neck with her dagger, but it’s taken a lot of her blood, and she stumbles from the wooziness.
The Stirge rolls a natural twenty, and Ari falls against the wall, now completely passed out.
The Stirge and the Cube are still going at it, one growing a few inches, then the other draining it and growing a few inches, then getting drained in turn.
“Nature is so beautiful.” Cypress says, watching it with a smile. He reaches out and touches Ari. Watching this exchange of blood and goo back and forth seems to give Cypress a warm glow. Like a child with the most disgusting stress ball, he finds a weird inner peace. He feels Chauntea and Syalee in him as he touches Ari (Channel Divinity: Preserve Life). Ari gasps and wakes up, looking on in horror at the disgusting fluid swapping routine she's awakened to.
Rae steps up and swings her short sword through the Cube, ending this disgusting ballet.
Two of the Stirge fly up and stick their faces into Rae’s armpits, and suck 7Hp from her.
Ari leaps to the rescue, swings the dagger that’s still clutched in her hand… and takes a dizzy stumble. Maybe standing up that fast after all that blood loss while holding a knife wasn’t the safest plan. With a natural one she accidentally cuts across Rae’s back as she catches herself from falling again.
Rae yells and looks up to see Sorin pointing a finger and taking careful aim at her. “No, no, no, not again.”
But, Sorin’s aim has improved a lot. As Rae franticall sticks out her arms to wave ‘no’, he shoots the Firebolt and it knocks the Stirge clean off her. The firebolt sends it flying clear to the wall at the back of the passage and burning it to a pile of ash that falls to the water on the floor.
Cypress takes aim at the other Stirge, and before Rae can shout “please wait,” his Thorn Whip has wrapped around its body, yanked it off the panicking monk, and dragged it through the air to flap by Cypress’s face. The magic whip disappears back into his thorny bracelet, and Rae is Stirge-free.
Rae takes her frustration out on the fat Stirge still hovering by the Cube. She swings her staff hard and knocks it unconscious.
The Stirge’s wings stop flapping, and it falls… into the not-open-not-mouth of the Baby Gelatinous Cube, which is now about the same size as the baby we came across escaping in the hallway. It lurch-lunges forward and starts to suck on Rae’s leg.
Ari’s Balance is back. She throws the dagger up high in the air. She spins. She catches it in her off hand as she kneels. Her main pulls her rapier. And, in a quick fluid zorro-like movement, she cuts the ooze from around Raelle the elf monk’s leg.
Sorin casts another Firebolt, knocking the Cube away from his friend.
Cypress’s Thorn Whip slices apart the last Stirge flying in front of him, and he watches Rae’s blood spill into the water by her feet. “Nature really is amazing,” he whispers to no one in particular.
Rae draws her sword and steps over and around the Stirge corpse. She lifts the sword and aims the blow, lining the hilt up with the faint glow inside the cube. She swings. The sword hits almost no resistance as she brings it down through the jello-like monster, cutting it in half.
With a wobble-wubble-fwump-thump the two halves reform into smaller thigh-high cubes, and one immediately dashes down the hallway, skidding around the corner.
“Oh come on!”
Cypress and Sorin cast Sacred Flame and Firebolt destroying the last bit of square shaped ooze left in the room.
There is a brief moment of peace here as Cypress does an Hp check. In the background, i roll a bunch of dice and advance a clock i’ve had going in my notes. Cypress hands his med kit to a confused Ari and Rae, then he and Sorin run through the passage and around the corner. Presumably, to face off with the Baby the momma Gelatinous Cube.
Ari and Rae look at each other over the little med kit in confusion. Ari rolls a medicine check and puts a pile of leaf bandages on Rae’s shoulder. It does nothing.
“Okay, this is useless, I’m going to help.” Rae says, and dashes into the next room.
Raelle-the-Still-Bleeding walks into the to see the Gelatinous Cube pulling itself away from the walls, and towards the center of the room. This Cube is slightly larger than the first one, and as it pulls away from the walls, we see the hole it’s been slowly digging to escape. With the (presumably magic-warded) grate gone, the Gelatinous Cube has been wedging little bits itself into the gaps of the weird square-dome room, and expanding to force them apart. At this point, it’s just over half way through the arch way and several of the brick edges have collapsed.
Across from the archway Rae is standing in, the Baby Cube seems to be squelching towards the now-open greate to the Temple of Shadows crypt.
Cypress flares off another Scared Flame, taking out the squelching baby Cube.
Sorin flares off another Firebolt, singeing away 7 damage on the large cube.
Ari walks up to the archway, looks down at her necklace. She shouts, “Hey everyone, hide in a corner or something, I’m gonna use the necklace!”
Rae immediately hobbles to the furthest corner.
Cypress retreats into the hallway with Ari, walks back to a safe distance behind her.
Sorin is trapped. The huge Cube has moved far enough into this side of the room, that it has cut off his exits and boxed him in. If he moves right (towards Ari’s arch) it will provoke an attack of opportunity, and if he moves left (towards the half broken arch) it will provoke an attack of opportunity. Thinking quickly, Sorin casts Spider Climb on himself and runs. He runs onto the wall, onto the ceiling, onto the wall, onto the ceiling, onto the wall, then onto the floor, M.C Esher would be proud. He’s away from the Cube now in the half-broken, half-dirt archway as he shouts, “Okay, I’m safe, go for it.”
Ari backs up with Cypress, pulls a single pearl off the Necklace of Fireball and throws. She aims carefully for the ground a few feet in front of the cube, trying to minimize the chance of the explosive shepherd hitting her friends. Ari and Cypress duck back behind the wall and see the red-orange glow casting shadows behind them.
The shock wave from the spell shakes dust loose from the walls and a brick narrowly misses Sorin as it comes loose from the dirt. The expanding flames sear off huge chunks of the Gelatinous cube and knock it backwards. The featureless ooze monster looks stunned as the glow inside shifts and settles in the new center of the ooze that is suddenly half the size it was a few seconds ago.
Cypress walks up the archway, he mutters, “No way I’m walking through that until it clears up,” as he flaps his hand, waving away the enormous cloud burst of toxic steam. Cupping his hands around his mouth he shouts into the room, “Sounds off! Who’s not dead!”
“I’m here!”
“I’m alive!”
“Squiggle-squelch!”
Sorin steps out from under the decaying ceiling, he snaps his fingers and shoots another Firebolt. The Cube hisses in the escaping steam and shrinks away from him.
Rae draws her sword and steps up to the Cube, now not much larger than the babies she divided. She lifts the sword and aims the blow, lining the hilt up with the faint glow inside the cube. Against all common sense, she swings. The Cube does not divide. The sword passes through slicing off a chunk.
The Cube lunges against Rae, slürpping around her leg. As the acidic ooze seeps into her leg, she begins to cry out. Before she falls unconscious from the pain. (hmm… that’s twice in one day a cube has engulfed that leg, i wonder if it will scar…)
Ari sees this take place as the cloud of toxic steam begins to dissipate, but it’s still too thick for her to run through without getting hurt. She kneels down, and sure enough, the air is clearer down here. She draws one of her last +1 arrows and fires. The Arrow flies deep into the cube. Deep enough that the shaft starts to disintegrate, the fletchings falling off, so deep that the arrowhead just barely scratches the glowing core.
Also noticing the air down here is clear, Cypress runs into the room. He skids to a halt on the wet floor, touching Rae’s neck. As he checks for a pulse he casts Spared The Dying and pushes his own will outside the bounds of his mortal hands. His own ethereal finger reach out and in another plane, they grab Rae’s fading life force and moor it to her body
Sorin casts another Firebolt at the Cube for 6 more damage and shouts, “I’m trying to get it’s attention, but we need to pull her out, it’s eating her leg!”
On the Gelatinous Cube’s turn it is in fact eating her leg and doing 2 more damage.
Rae, you’re up, what are you- oh yeah, you’re unconscious. Ari?
♪ I can run in there now the steam is gone… I can see all obstacles in my way. ♪
Ari runs into the room and skids to her knees next to Cypress. He uses his turn to help, and the two of them pull Rae out of the sticky pulsating ooze.
Sorin casts another Firebolt, Cypress hits it with his Mace, Ari misses with her Rapier. Rae? STILL unconscious? Pfft that's just lazy work ethic, is what that is.
The Cube is a tiny thing now, its tiny glowing core is all that’s left. Its body, just small enough to put in a bottle. But who will bottle this slimy monster-puss while Rae is passed out!? Sorin, will you do it?
Sorin blasts the last speck of Gelatinous Cube with a final Firebolt.
And there we have it. Mid-evening on the 3rd of Kythorn and our messy, bloodied heroes have slain the Gelatinous Cubes.
Is two days enough to impress Pulgrok, Will they dive straight into the crypt? Will Rae be sad about not getting another bottle of slime? Will Riccardo ever be avenged? Find out in the next THUG MUGGERS SEWER ADVENTURE!
“Could a person actually die from a small whiskey-fueled crotch fire?”
-Zoe Ashe –David Wong (Jason Pargin), “Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits”
Table talk:
Nothing this time, just a bunch of thank-you’s for the Holiday presents we gave each other beforehand. As well as jokes about me using a Dewalt tool bin (DWST08205 Tough System Tote With Handle) to carry them in.
