Thug Muggers in the City 9/3/22
Table Talk:
Magic Formula
Last time, Cypress found a magic formula and gave it to Sorin to decipher and figure out. So, this week i had an actual physical Magic Formula to give Ashley.
We also retconned the price for the poison sacks that Sorin sold to Devin so that he can have that money going up to the city.
A small correction here, Ari’s Rapier is only a -1 after the fight with the Rust Monster, not a -2.
The big topics of conversation were a new scheduling plan and what to do about leveling up.
With scheduling, i’ve been feeling a little rushed, putting in about 20 hours a week DMing (prepping, painting, mapping, printing, writing summaries, etc.). These are all things i enjoy doing, but i’m having a hard time keeping up. I proposed doing something different on the last week of each month, and everyone agreed to give me a small breather and keep it fun for me while still giving me the time to make props, type these up, and everything else. So, on the last week of the month, someone other than me will host a game, a one shot, a new world, a goofy build session, a world building game, anything. With other players expressing an interest in learning to run games, i think this will work great.
The question of how we level up is an intricate one. Do we continue leveling individually? Do we level as a group? Do you all level when half of us do? Does no one level until the lowest XP levels? Do we level in one-on-one meetings or as part of a session? So much here that we decided to move it to the group chat, and spend the week figuring it out.
A clarification for Diedrik/Cypress: the religious act Cypress does for this end/beginning of month, has to fit 3 criteria. Beyond that, use your imagination and come up with anything.
It has to have some cost (ex: using spell slots to heal homeless, donating money, spell components for a Ritual, etc.).
It has to have a religious ceremonial aspect (ex: a ritual, a day of prayer, etc.).
It has to have an end result (ex: the spell of a cast Ritual, making holy water, growing a plant, etc.).
Lastly, below are 3 maps of the city. The first (left) is the old map i built in a wonderful free in-browser program called Dungeon Scrawl. I used this as a vague idea, but now that we are actually interacting with it i wanted a more in depth map for my ongoing quest to ‘bring the game to life’ for the players. So i dusted off some old graphic design and colleague skills to whip up something that isn’t so flat and boring. The end result (middle) is a map i’m pretty proud of that feels much grander and as a 24”x24” print out (like the other maps we play on), we can get a better sense of where each character is in the city as we move there figure tokens to be standing in/on the buildings/areas they’re in. The last map (right) shows an overlay of the sewers (or everything i have mapped so far) on top of the city for a sense of size. Click on any image to see better.
"If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to smack a kids parent for not teaching them even the most basic things, well, I'd have enough nickels to put in a sock and smack those parents with it"
–Andy Weir, “Project Hail Mary”
Chapter 4: Sunlight
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
Chapter 4: Sunlight 🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
With Devin having gone back to whatever dimension two-headed-three-armed-two-tailed-lizard-men call home, it’s time to make a plan.
Cypress scratches his chin, “We should set up a meeting time and place… it would take forever getting back to the same spot if none of us know what we’re doing.”
Sorin turns to the cleric, “How long do you think your ritual is going to take?”
Looking annoyed, Cypress retorts, “How long do you think it will take you to suck up to your teacher?” He huffs out a breath, “Probably around a day, but that’s assuming I can find a good place and don’t get interrupted.
A chastened Sorin thinks for a minute. “Should we get a room at an Inn?”
“Huh?”
“That’s actually not a bad idea…”
“Yeah,” he continues, “If we put it in the group name we can all get in, that way we can split up and meet back there at night.” He pauses, “Cypress, you’re gonna be at the Church of Glorious Gods right?
“Yeah, that’s where those priests are, and the small shrine for Chauntea. By the way should we maybe-”
Sorin interrupts him and continues his train of thought, “Ok, then we should get a room at the Nort Gate Inn. It’s right by there and it’s easy to find.”
Cypress tries again, “Maybe some stones of far speech or a fantasy cell phone so that-”
Rae interrupts him looking at Sorin, “ Nort? You mean the ‘North’ Gate Inn?”
“Some way to maybe communicate since we’re splitting-” Cypress tries.
Sorin explains, “Yeah, it used to be the North Gate Inn a long time ago, the owners were some stuffy old Lording family that were all about high class stuff, marble gold trim, all that. Then someone came and bought them out and started renting rooms to everyone with rooms based on the price (even down to a broom closet if you only have half a copper). So, as a petty protest the old Lords tried tearing away the old solid gold marquee, but they only got the ‘H’ before the new owners literally knocked their plans out from under them.” Sorin looks around with a grin at the blank stares, then sighs and explains. “They kicked the ladder. They left the Lord hanging there begging for help. Eventually the Constabulary showed up and got them down, but someone in the crowd had already made off with the ‘H’. So now it’s just the Nort Gate Inn, but it kinda reminds everyone that they’re welcome now, even if they’re not all fancy rich.”
Dear reader, this is the elaborate backstory we came up with for a simple typo i forgot to correct before printing the new city map.
Cypress again, “Because if we don’t have a way to get in touch-”
Ari walks up to the pipe, interrupting Cypress she says, “Alright, let's head up,” and begins climbing.
Ari is the first to the surface, and the first to succeed on her Con Check against the sunlight. It helps that it’s still dawn and the sun isn’t really bright yet. She lifts the drainage grate above her head a little, taking a peek out to judge the surroundings in true T.M.N.T. fashion. She sees a mostly bare street, with a few vendors yawning as they set up small stalls and carts.
Ari climbs out onto the street followed by a somewhat nervous Rae. Rae also passes the Con Check for being in sunlight for the first time in days. Maybe it helps that her head keeps moving back and forth looking for any of the cops that might try to say something about her and poison.
Cypress climbs out next, and breezes through the Check with natural advantage from growing up spending time both in holes and out in the open.
Last up to the surface is Sorin. He passes his Check with no more than the headache he gets from spending too long looking at books late at night. He looks around, getting his bearings. It seems like the vendors around them either didn’t notice, or much more likely, just don’t care because they don’t look like people with money to sell something to.
Figuring out which street he’s on he says, “Cypress, the Nort Gate Inn is easy to find.”
“Okay, but I really think-”
Sorin keeps going, “Just head up this main street here and it’s right by the gates there like you’d expect.”
“First I really think we should-” Cypress tries again.
“Rae, if you want to get gear and shopping then the Greater Square is just down this street. Just head towards the palace and you’ll see it. In fact, you can just barely make it out from here, right next to the Constabulary Tower…” Sorin gulps looking at the Constabulary Tower, and the Observatory Tower next to it.
“I’m serious, we need a way to-”
“Okay, so Ari, the Church of Shadows is in the south part of town, almost right next to the Eastern Wall. You’ll want to head south on the main street then turn off west when you pass the University,” he gulps, glancing at the Observatory Tower and getting nervous, “go past the Arena, and then take the next wide street to the Church there.” his voice fades as he panics a bit, “uh sorry guys, I gotta go.” And he rushes off towards the Tower in the distance.
Cypress sighs and looks up at his two remaining companions, “Before anything can you please-”
Ari and Rae look at each other. “Actually I think I’m gonna go with Ari.” Rae says as the two of them start off, fading into the growing crowd as the day’s traffic really starts up.
Letting out an aggravated sigh Cypress heads north mumbling, “Why did I let them out in the open, at least in the sewers tunnels they were contained! I swear those three are like trying to herd squirrels, and now, they’re loose on the city!”
Chapter 5: Loose on the City
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
Chapter 5: Loose on the City 🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
This time, we’re gonna follow the full path of each character as they go through their time individually. It’s not how we played it, but i think it’ll make it easier to follow in summary form.
Since he ran off first, we’ll start off with Sorin.
We walk with Sorin past the triumphant gates and onto the familiar brick yard of the “University of Magic and High Understanding or The Natural Order of the Universe”. We walk through the courtyard and glance up at the skeleton sitting on a plinth holding a brass globe. Not for the first time, Sorin wonders why a school would be so against teaching necromancy, when they keep the bones of the founder propped up on the front lawn. We go through the first year’s hall and walk through the quiet corridors. It’s disorienting at first with how quiet it is until Sorin remembers it’s the 30th. Most of the students will be enjoying these two days off, spending time with family, or partying and peeing off the roof tops – traditionally. We poke into a few empty lecture chambers, labs, and offices, glancing over the familiar taxidermy birds, stone pyramids, and overhead projectors (Thaumaturgy to make a light, and panes of glass to write on and slot into place behind a lens). Eventually we find one of the older professors of elemental magic. Sorin recognizes him as Professor Beardsley.
Sorin stands there for a minute, stuttering and then finally blurts out, “I got a job professor, I-I’m working with some adventures on a mission.”
All of the professor’s mustaches twitch and he lets out a chuckle, “Excellent my boy. Nothing like the thrill and excitement of adventure in those early years!”
“I was wondering where I might be able to get some supplies, Sir. Just basic spell components and such.”
The old man looks at him, his expression unreadable behind layers and layers of facial hair, “What’re you new here? That’s literally what the commissary is for.”
Sorin blinks for a minute before apologizing and running off.
We walk with Sorin into his dormitory next. There are six other scholarship students in his year, all sharing this dorm. There are three sleeping rooms with two beds each, some wardrobe covers, and a smell of stale socks baked into the walls by decades of young adult students. There is a shared bath with a single large clawfoot tub. The main room is functional with desks, a table and chairs. Three of these chairs have been taken and put in line together to almost make a very uncomfortable sofa. Laying across them, with an arm over his face and a bag at his feet is Herbert.
As Sorin walks into the room he sees Herbert and immediately gets a whiff of potent herbs. For some reason he is remembering the giant mushrooms we saw a few days ago. Leaning over the back of Herb’s “couch” Sorin says, “Hey is the washroom free? I really really need a bath.”
Herb’s eyes open wide staring at our wizard, “Whoa… a ghost… oh man, this is gonna be so great I can’t wait, I’m gonna be published as the first apothecarist to make a concoction that lets you see dead people!”
Sorin sighs and makes his way to his shared bedroom. He grabs a fresh supply of clothes and makes for the washroom. As he goes to open the door, it opens on its own. Before he can wonder if Herbert was onto something with the ghosts, Sorin sees a familiar and terrible face.
“Oooh… it’s you… What a shame. I guess you didn’t give up and run away for good… or die. That means I lost 5 silver.” In front of Sorin stands Paisley. Five foot eight inches and holding a towel loose around their body like a toga on a statue of a Greek god. Their skin glistens from moisture and from a naturally shiny skin. Paisley’s hair is in a mohawk, styled back and to one side in that effortless way that professional make-up artists spend hours getting just right on their clients. They smile and everything about their posture is the ease of someone who grew up with a golden spoon in their mouth. The kind of ease only available to someone how, in fact, grew up actually looking down on all the unfortunate poors that only had silver spoons. Paisley has a knock-out svelte body that everyone would crave – in every meaning of the word. The very few that aren’t attracted to them, are only not attracted to them because of their jealousy of that figure, or rightful self chastisement in knowing they aren’t worthy to touch it.
“It also means I’m alive.” Sorin retorts, “And for your information I’ve been doing real work, practicing actual magic, with an adventuring party. Something you would know nothing about.” Sorin says, lifting his nose in the air unconsciously as he gets the upper hand.
Paisley smirks, “Of course I wouldn’t. Unlike SOME people, when I want to learn by doing, I can simply travel anywhere and work with the best minds in our dimension. I can even get in with a few in the nearby dimensions if the ‘rents write me a letter of introduction.”
“Why are you here? I’m serious Paisley, why are you even here in this scholarship program, it’s not like you need the assistance.” Sorin barks out, getting angry.
Herbert lets out either a snore or a fart – let’s say it’s a snore.
Paisley pokes out a finger at Sorin’s chest, “Listen gutter boy, I earned my place here. This scholarship is my reward for being excellent. There is NOTHING someone like you-”
Sorin shoulders past him into the washroom and slams the door, not wanting to hear the whole speech again and not trusting himself to follow the non-violent campus code of conduct. Behind the door the voice of Paisley fades as they walk off saying something about ‘the class making the manners, and the manners making the class’.
Brooke from across the table: “Wow, now I get why Sorin is such a psychopath.”
Okay, making 80’s teen movie villains is fun. I need to do this more… maybe the Thug Muggers need to save a rec center next…
Having bathed and changed clothes, Sorin dumps his old clothes in a laundry chute and gets his stuff together again. He walks out to the main room, grateful to see that Paisley is gone and Herbert is still asleep.
He heads for the door and then doubles back to do something we did not expect. Sorin carefully reaches down, and swipes the bag Herb had lying next to him. Herb’s eyes fly open and he sits up. Rotating his head to all angles, he shouts, “THIEF, THIEF, THIEF, THIEF” over and over, like a car alarm.
Panicking, Sorin runs out the door.
Sarah from across the table: “I mean hey, if you already set off the alarm, you might as well steal the car.”
Seeing one of the campus toughs in the hallways he quickly and calmly walks to the OTHER staircase and down to the courtyard.
For a brief moment Sorin considers casting something to make him blend in, or to disguise the bag. He moves his hands and begins to… wait. Spell casting out in the open, and not in a classroom, isn’t exactly prohibited, but it’s frowned upon and would definitely be seen as suspicious. He lowers his hands and whistles nonchalantly, crossing the courtyard to the commissary building.
The commissary is divided into three separate stores. On the left is a general student supply and bookstore; inks, quills, robes, etc. In the middle is the spell component store with some supplies out in the open like bottles of ashes, and some supplies behind a locked glass cabinet like green diamonds, and powdered horns of gods. The shop on the right is more gear-oriented; hoods of endless vision, wands of magic missile, training armor, and other more action based items.
In the component shop Sorin gets a large bundle of feathers, a baggie of small silver bells, a spool of silver wire, a test tube with several sticks of incense in it, a generic bundle of herbs, and a baggy of ungraded medium dirt. All totaling 6 gold and 6 silver.
No, wait, how did i miss that jar? The dirt is in a jar.
With all that out of the way Sorin heads into the Student Labs.
The main floor is an open ring design with a center ring of un-spoiled earth in the middle, there are rocks and grass and dirt, and a few spots of splattered blood. In a ring around it are several work benches; hardwood tops with small anvils and rivet forges next to them, one or two even have sewing machines and dressmakers mannequins. Behind this ring, up against the walls are several lab stations. Each has a hard black marble countertop, some faucets, an array of beakers and each has a shower with a pull cord on it.
Sorin walks up to one of the work benches.
Skipping lunch, he sits down on the wooden stools. He pulls out a book, flipping through it he turns to a page marked ‘Summoning your First Familiar’.
And that’s where we leave off with Sorin. The spell takes a while to cast so we’ll pick back up with him next game, and see how it went.
So we move away from Sorin and the arcane labs of the university, and go back in time. Let’s reset to the start of the day to follow Ari and Rae as they run off and away from Cypress to have their own little adventure.
Ari and Rae look at each other. “Actually I think I’m gonna go with Ari.” Rae says as the two of them start off. The pair run off laughing through the streets. They’ve been here for about a week, but now that we’re out of the sewers, the thrill of being ‘in the CITY’ is pulsing through them.
The pair head south on the main drag, Rae pausing every block or so to look at some stall or other, and Ari tugging her robes and reminding her they’re on a mission – followed of course by Ari seeing a vendor carelessly leave something unattended for a moment, and Rae swatting away her greedy hand washing to reminding HER that they’re on a mission.
In this way, the two pass the university and come to the turn off at the arena. Rae looks up and the building in awe. Seven stories tall, beautiful stone, balconies with flowers, wooden arches and shining glass, Rae is truly in awe at the grandeur of it all.
While Rae is site seeing, Ari is calculating. She looks around at the gathered crowd and runs some quick math. The internal dialogue goes something like this. ‘Hmmm, there aren’t a lot of people around, but clearly this IS a popular area. I don’t see any cops on patrol… Could I get away with pickpocketing? No, not enough people to blend in. Could I swipe from the vendors? No, there’s just a little too many people for that. Could I distract them? I could run the old scam, and get Rae to perform, this is a good spot for it, oh but this is an arena people are already here for something, or they’re expecting to see something more than Rae can probably do…” and so on, until Rae finally tugs her arm and snaps her back to their mission, by dragging her off to the next street.
After a few blocks the two of them are very confused, and not for the usual reasons. No this is something they didn’t really expect. They’re standing in front of a building that clearly is a church, and it does look super ominous, but it’s further south than they expected, and it doesn't have that cast iron symbol on top they were expecting.
In front of them is the old Church of - huh well actually we can’t really tell. It’s very very run down, it looks like half the roof has collapsed in. There are a few people milling around though, including someone looking shifty in a cloak and hood. The figure looks around and then crawls up and into a side window. Ari thinks she sees someone with a wheelbarrow walk through the front doors. Then she does a double take. The front doors are sealed. There is even a large wooden beam laid across them with the words ‘Condemned By The City of Nibiru’ stamped into it. But then how did the wheelbarrow guy…
Ari walks up to the front door. She puts her hand out and it passes through the wooden beam. She steps back looking at it and mumbles “some sort of illusion magic.” Then she takes another look at the fake beam holding the fake doors closed. From this close up she is able to see some signs of Thieves Cant cleverly working into the illusion. She glances around, then takes a second to read them. “The Dark Market”
Ari tugs on Rae’s robes and the pair move into the shadow of a nearby building to discuss this new situation.
“Well then, I’m pretty sure that’s not the Church of Shadows,” Rae says after getting filled in.
“Yeah but I mean, should I go in? Do I explore it? It seems like something that could get really bad really fast, who knows what I’ll find in there.”
Rae and Ari discuss back and forth for a few minutes, psyching themselves up with horrors like forbidden drugs and monsters, and the thrill of awesome weapons with necromancer spells. Finally Rae says, “Okay, so you go in, and I’ll keep a watch out here.” Then, concocting an awesome action movie in her head, she adds, “I’ll try to get on a roof so I can jump down if you run out with someone chasing you!”
“Yeah, yeah good plan,” Ari says, not really listening. “I’ll meet you back here soon.”
Ari skulks up to the doors, and pushes in past the illusion.
Keeping an excellent watch on the front door, Rae walks around the building to try to find a way up onto a nearby roof.
In a worn down corner, behind a broken window, and tucked in behind a crumbling wall, she sees a ladder. She goes to take the ladder and realizes it’s stuck, bolted to the wall, going straight up to the roof of this “Dark Market”.
Inside, Ari’s eyes adjust to the gloom. She sees pews pushed to the walls, and nailed to the walls, blocking up the windows. There are more pews in the shape of a rough circle in the middle of the floor with a small pool of dried blood and ooze. The whole hall is brighter than she expected from outside. There are a few dusty ribbons of light streaming in from the cracks in the building, but more than that there are several green and blue torches burning. With a good Arcana Check, she recognizes these as having something to do with warding spells, probably also related to the illusion of the doors.
This is the opposite of the world outside where shopkeepers are just opening up in the dawn light. In here, as dawn peeks through the cracks, the shops are all slowly being taken down. Vendors are pushing things that squeak back in their bags. A tall figure in the back throws a tarp over his cages, and a girl in all black armor wipes the green letters off a silver sandwich-board sign.
Looking around Ari sees three vendors clearly still open for business; a man selling weapons on a table, a mole-person selling bottles of unknown liquid, and a whisper from the darkness that says the seller with the cages is still gonna be around for a few minutes.
Shuddering, Ari goes up to the weapons table to see about a replacement for her rapier or her damaged dagger.
Outside, Rae shudders and backs away from my ladder-bait muttering, “No way am I going up on that roof, it looked like it was about to fall in.”
She steps back and starts eyeing one of the buildings to the north. She brushes some dirt on her hands, and eyes the drain spout. She begins to climb, and with a very bad acrobatics roll, she falls to the ground, embarrassed and looking up at the drain spout.
From this angle though, she thinks she notices something new. Getting up, she takes a closer look at the markings. Sure enough, there it is, carved in plaster of the building next to the drain spout, is Devin’s mark.
Here we have to pause for a moment to go over an out-of-game event this past weekend. Sarah hosted me for my first ever American Football Game Day Party. Because of all the Ads reminding us all to gamble, we made a bet. Sarah, as Rae, bet that the Nebraska CornHuskers Football Team would win the day. While i, as Devin, bet that the Nebraska CornHuskers Football Team would lose the American Football game. And Brooke, as Ari, bet the game would go into extended or “over” time. The bet was for 1 Health Potion.
Since the Illinois team (The Northwestern Wildcats), seized the victory with a total of 528 yards gained and 3 more points that the Corn-Suckers, Brooke and Sarah lost the bet. Which means, Ari and Rae now owe Devin a Health potion before he will trade or do business with them again.
*ahem* Booya.
While Rae looks at Devin’s mark and remembers all this, Ari is looking over weapons. The table in front of her has a large collection of eye-catching weapons that all scream “villain”. There are large hooks, swords with barbs, axes with runes written in permanently wet blood, and even the obligatory club with nails in.
Ari’s eyes fall on a possible replacement for her dagger. A wicked, three bladed dagger with a barbed pummel and half-green-half-red crystal set into the cross guard. She looks up at the salesman, “What’s the deal with the dagger?”
The man leans in whispering, “Are you familiar with Life Stealing spells…?”
“I’ll take it!”
With that Ari walks out of the dark market to find Rae sunning herself with her back to a wall. Ari runs over to her friend, waving a dangerous magical weapon and saying, “Lookie, lookie what I got!” in a sing-song voice.
After cooing over Ari’s new prize, Rae shows Ari the mark on the wall and they talk about what to do.
Ari looks around and considers. It’s nearing midday now. “Okay I bet all those stalls are up and running by now over next to the Arena. I bet we can find a health potion there and be done with that debt to Devin.”
So, the pair backtrack a few blocks to look through the stalls for health potions, when something predictable happens.
Rae-the-hungry, is hungry. As she looks over stalls and carts as promised, but all she is looking at is the food.
With a sigh Ari stops their progress and realizing she’s hungry too, looks around and sees what foods are on hand. There are vendors selling fried fair food, a dwarf yelling “meat on a stick” and a few festive looking carts selling flower salads. With a mutual nod they walk to a vendor hawking fried faire food and each get The Churro Special. Walking away they each enjoy three churros; one hollow, one filled with icing, and one filled with nacho cheese sauce.
Let’s jump back in time to once more, to just after breakfast instead of right after lunch. Back by the sewer grate where Cypress just got left in dust while trying to convince the others that group communication is important.
Cypress heads north mumbling, “Why did I let them out in the open, at least in the sewers tunnels they were contained! I swear those three are like trying to herd squirrels, and now, they’re loose on the city!” He shakes his head and mumbles a half-hearted prayer to Chauntea for patience as he heads up the main road. With so few people on the street it’s easy for him to set his eyes on the North gate. He gives a brief thanks to the lack of tall torsos and the usual forest of legs, as he heads up the road.
When we walk in from the little courtyard out front, we see that the North Gate Inn is essentially divided in two parts. From the doors to the desk in front us is a dividing line. The wide runner-rug with V shapes either shows the separation, or stitches the room together depending on how you look at it. To our right, the hotel is a luxurious affair clearly built for the upper crust to feel very crusty indeed. The theme is definitely white marble with gold trim. There is delicate stone carved fretwork, and a stair banister made of white porcelain so thin you can see shadows through it. To the left though, the inn looks, well, normal, maybe even a bit worn. The simple wooden beams and broken-in wood floor would be at home in any public house, or a farming village, in any rural countryside. In front of us at the end of the carpet divider is a gray stonework desk with three sections, an average human-height counter, a tall troll-height counter, and a small counter a few feet off the ground.
Cypress walks up to the shortest of the three and leans his staff against the stone with a thump to get the attention of the clerk.
A gnome with a name-badge reading “ANAME” looks up at him. With a bright cheery voice, and completely dead soulless eyes they recite, “Hello and thank you choosing the Nort Gate Inn, my name is Ahnawmee, how may help you?” Having recited this incantation, his lips spread out in a rictus smile with less life in it than the stone desk.
Cypress is a well-worn world traveler, he has high intelligence, high wisdom, and high charisma. In fact, he’s a well rounded person with unique beliefs, and strengths. He has slain undead nightmares and solved complex riddles, he is capable of summoning the will of a God.
When Cypress speaks his own voice is overridden by a power birthed in the dawn of time, a power no level 15 sorcerer could ever overcome. In a somewhat higher voice than usual he asks, “Yeah, uh, hi, um… ok so I was wondering… do you have any rooms available? Something for like a group,” He hisses between his teeth, “There’s four of us so maybe you could do like an adjoining orrr…” The last word hangs in the air.
The smiling teeth of the clerk are pried apart as they respond, “Well I do have one of our adventuring suites open for tonight. They have 6 beds and are mostly used by companion parties…” He trails off.
Involuntarily, Cypress claps his hands together once. “Oh perfect, great we’ll take it. Oh but wait… I think we need it for two nights, is it open for that long?
The clerk, already knowing the answer, clicks their tongue, and in the fake voice of a barbie in dismay, they intone, “Oooo I don’t know, let me check.” They flip through some pages, not knowing why – they already have the pages memorized from when they looked at it fifteen minutes ago. They puff their cheeks out and reply, “Yeah, I think I can make that work,” In a lower voice he adds to himself, “I might have to move some things around but,” He looks back at the cypress, “Yeah I think I can keep you in that room for both nights.”
Cypress reaches for his wallet.
The clerk reaches for a pen, “So.. I just need your information.. here… here… and the group name riiight.. here.”
Cypress feels his face overridden in another tight smile as he hands coins over to the gnome and fills out the offered piece of paper. He takes the key and turns around.
Suddenly the spell is broken. Cypress lets out a sigh of relief and glances around cursing whatever revengeful gods of hospitality created this unholy ritual. He stumbles a bit as he makes his way down the hall to the adventurers suite, shuttering and trying to shake off the evil that overtook him.
Massaging his chin and teeth from that unnatural smile, Cypress unlocks the room and walks in. The room is a long rectangle divided roughly into three parts. In front of us is a small lounge area with table and chairs, the table has a few dents and cuts in it as if it was recently used in a fight. The chairs are laid out in no particular order and one is much larger than the others. Cypress realizes that if he sits in it he would look like Neil Patrick Harris singing “Brand New Day” in Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. Across from the door, next to the open window is an iron stove with a simple clay kettle on it. The room is divided on either side by hanging nordic-style curtains. They are made of a grid of leather straps and have some hooks hanging from them to hang up cloaks, bags, or longship oars. Each of these wings has three beds arranged in it. There is a medium (human-sized) bed, a bed about the right size for a large child, and a large bed that could easily and in fact comfortably host a dwarf orgy of fourteen more.
Claiming a bed, Cypress shrugs off his heavy pack and pouches. He lays out his things, taking inventory and hanging up his cloak and bed roll to air out. Looking over his belongings he decides to only take a precious few items with him for this task. Cypress strips off to the waist and hangs up his armor, brushing off the underside, and letting it air out with the bedroll. He takes a brush and roughly rakes it over his tunic before belting it back on with the bottle of moss balls. Taking his Holy Symbol from the bed he fingers the crack in the talisman, and a look of worry crosses his face before he hangs from his neck. It feels good to have it back there, it feels like it's been a while since it was just a symbol and not being used as a tool.
With that, Cypress grabs his staff and locks the door, heading out to the Church of Glorious Gods and the shrine of Chauntea (a name i really shouldn’t still have to look up every time any more).
As we walk with Cypress up the Church of Glorious Gods we see a dwarf in a robe on a step ladder. She is short and plump with a beard to her knees, tied in an intricate “monkey’s fist” style knot. As he approaches we hear some new dwarfish words and get the impression that they aren’t very holy words for a priest to be using. The ladder wobbles as the dwarf shifts it a bit and a splash of soapy water slashes to the ground from the bucket in her hands. We see that she is scrubbing away the word “miscellaneous” which has been painted over the word “Glorious” on the large letters over the temple doors.
Cypress steadies the ladder. The angry dwarf looks down and grunts her thanks.
The two clerics work, with the dwarf scrubbing and Cypress moving the ladder. The words are clean again and the marquee is shining in the light of early day. The dwarf thanks Cypress and there is a slight moment of Awkwardness. The dwarf feels like she should reward the help, but why, it was just another cleric doing a godly thing after all. Meanwhile, Cypress feels like he should be saying something profound about ‘no need for thanks’ but why, it was just another cleric doing their duties after all. They each sort of grunt and acknowledge the awkwardness and part ways.
Cypress goes up to the Shrine of Chauntea and bows his head in prayer. He asks Chauntea for guidance and a blessing as he embarks on his holy deed today.
Roll Religion for me.
There is not a great sign or message from the Goddess of life, but he feels her spirit flowing around him, and he feels himself in a quiet, contented peace.
Roll Performance for me.
As Cypress calmly and quietly rises and walks to the doors, he is waved over by the receptionist standing behind a desk full of flyers and pamphlets all about various deities and paths for our immortal souls. “Excuse me, sir, please don’t feel the need to talk. I notice you praying there at the foot of the statue. Guessing by how you’re wearing far less equipment than you were the last time I saw you, you are on a holy errand or some act of religious intent. If you have taken a vow of silence and should need someone to accompany you to answer questions or open doors you cannot touch, please just nod and I’ll fetch one of the acolytes or scholars – depending on who’s around.”
A stunned Cypress looks up at the most helpful desk clerk in the multiverse, “I’m, uh, I’m good, thank you.” Cypress says in awe, “I really appreciate that, but I don’t have any silent acts or limitations like that.”
The clerk smiles a warm and earnest smile, “Very good, sir. Do you need one of our tokens?” He holds up a small tin coin with ‘CHOG’ printed on it. “Should you need to do anything in the city that might be seen as awkward or raise eyebrows, such as standing naked on a rooftop, most of the local businesses will recognize the coin and let you go about your business. The constabulary also won’t bother you too much, so long as you aren’t stealing or harming anyone but yourself. All though, I can’t promise any individual will actively help you because of it.”
With a cocked eyebrow Cypress reaches up and takes the token. “Thank you, I have to go to the woods, so I imagine this will help at the gates.”
“I understand,” The clerk adds, “Though, if you don’t wish to leave the city, you could go to the city forest west of the barracks. It’s not a true woodland, mind you. It’s mostly run by the carpenters and trades groups to ensure a sustained resource. It is a little scrap of nature, but not many critters.” He thinks for a moment. “If you DO want to avoid people you could head to the north. The forest isn’t far from there and it’s a shorter path. Otherwise you could head out the East Gate and go through the traveler’s tents in the prairie. The woodland out there is much prettier. It’s not as dense as the north forest, but there are far more springs, and a lot more small wildlife.”
For a brief moment Cypress wonders what God made this desk worker so helpful and if he should start looking to make that god more popular, before he shakes his head to keep himself on track. “I think I’ll head to the east, I need some water, and it sounds like I should be able to find a pool there.” He pauses as he heads out the door. Looking up at the clerk he says, “Thank you. Sincerely, you’re the most helpful person I’ve met in days.” And Cypress heads down the street, wondering what that says about the people he’s been teamed up with.
As he walks down the main road to the East Gate, Cypress glances up at the midday sun and decides he’s hungry enough to eat before he leaves. He looks around at the celebration food and smiles as he sees something just right. He walks up to the young woman pulling a rickshaw laden with flowers, veggies, and leafy greens.
She sets down the handles of the cart and turns to Cypress, “Bouquet salad?”
Cypress grins, “On a day like today, that sounds perfect.”
After sitting on a bench and eating his salad, Cypress walks up to the gate at the city walls. At first he sees all the traffic and wonders if maybe going north would’ve been better. But, as he gets closer, he sees that all the traffic is people coming IN to the city for the holiday, and almost no one is going OUT.
He walks up to the guard on duty and nods to him.
“Please state your name and anything to declare or recover on your way out squire.”
Cypress hands him the Token saying, “Cypress Witchazel, I am headed to the woods for religious rights, but shouldn’t be long.”
“Very good sir,” The guard says as he places the coin on his paper. He pulls out a small wooden dowel and presses the coin into the page, leaving a mark before writing “Sipris” over the mark and handing the token back to our cleric.
And with that, Cypress is out of the city. He breathes deep and feels his shoulders relax as he intentionally leaves the path and walks through the natural prairie grass, slowly meandering his way to the eastern woods.
And we’ll leave off there. The beautiful scene of Cypress, stomach full, walking out into the open sunny air is wonderful.
“Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.”
–Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death”
Table talk:
Not a lot of Table talk at the end of this session, it was our first time doing a late evening game (normally we play early Sunday morning), and everyone was getting super sleepy. Mainly we just discussed upcoming scheduling issues.
As usual, i have some stats to look over and hand out, as well as some custom builds to codify like Ari’s new dagger.
I’ll look up the details on Summon Familiar and we'll resolve that next time we play.
We’ll be discussing leveling up throughout the week, and next session we will hopefully have a solid decision on it.
