Thug Muggers in the City 11/25/23
Table Talk:
I keep having this in my notes, but we keep having other, more important stuff to start off with. Challenge Ratings. Just so everyone knows, now that you all are at level 5 you all have new harder fights ahead. You now have a 14,000 daily XP allowances for fights (it was 6,800) and where 1,000 used to be a Medium level fight, if it is now just barely easy. So be prepared.
“Never trust any ruler who puts his faith in tunnels and bunkers and escape routes. The chances are that his heart isn't in the job.”
-Lord Havalock Vetinari —Terry Pratchett, “Guards! Guards!”
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿
Chapter 2: Out of the Palace
🎲🗡️🔔✨🌿 Chapter 2: Out of the Palace
It’s nighttime in the city, where the girls are so pretty and we first set our eyes on a gang of Thug Muggers!
AHEM lets try that again. It's a deep night now in the city. The bath houses are empty and hanging out their towels in the moonlight.
A young man in a farmhouse is tossing and turning in his bunk, certain he said the wrong thing to that cute Taffer boy today.
The employees at the First Draft brewery are picking up after the results of their latest beer test. Sorting the broken furniture into piles of “kindling” and “repair” after breaking up the fight.
In the palace our heroes walk down the stairs escorted by Sargen- sorry, Ambassador Bostra…. Or is it chancellor… he looks back up the stairs.
“You’re right, but you don’t understand. Yeah right I could fight alongside you. I could get a sword or a club and gods know I have enough friends in the regimenters to get my armor back… I could do that. And you’re right, I don't think my… siblings… would ever know. In fact I'm sure they wouldn’t even care. They might even try to avoid finding out... But I'd know, Sorin, I’d know.
“This is a punishment for me… And a new one, I'll give them that. Two of you are citizens now, or at least will be when we go back down there. Two citizens, two people of Nibiru, people of my lands. People, my parents, grandparents, great grandparents and more lived… breathed… fought… and died for… but in their eyes I gave up on our family.” He lets out a heavy sigh.
“And it's clever, I’ll give Quin that one without any argument. I can’t be your commander, I can’t fight alongside you and gain that special bond of battle friends forged when iron strikes on hot blood. No, I have to follow you, and be a nuisance in our travels. Just a bit of pomp and frippery to carry around as a burden.”
He stands up straight and clears his throat as he opens the door to the lower level of the golden ball. Our cart is still there along with all our disguise gear. “Now then, Gaibon will be staying here and taking care of certain arrangements, you all get your farmer clothes on and head out the main gate. I need to spend tomorrow preparing and I imagine you do too.”
He turns to Sorin, “Cypress is a citizen now, he’ll need a monogram. Nothing fancy, but something he can stamp on official documents for court business the same as yours.”
Then he turns to Cypress. “You’ll need a place to stay too. You don’t have to figure that out right now, but soon before anyone,” he jerks a thumb upwards, “up there asks about it. Sorin can teach you the city song and all that I’m sure,” a familiar mischievous grin flits over his face, “at least the official one anyways.”
“Day after tomorrow, I’ll meet you at Feareck Plaza and we’ll set off. You’ll need to figure out how we’re getting back down there though. We DO NOT want to be seen.” He hands over a small Calling Coin to Sorin and motions everyone out.
Once we gear up in our disguises and Rae screws her wig and blush back on, we start walking across the royal yard and then hear a shout that makes the gate guards turn, “And stay out! You lot should be ashamed! Trying to come in and seduce your way to the court!” Then Bostra’s soft barely audible chuckle.
At the main gate, everyone takes very different approaches to this prompt. Rae stares straight ahead unblinking and carrying a potato sack on her shoulder. Cypress stays quite inside the potato sack. Ari keeps her head down and looks abashed, and Sorin decides to keep playing the “seducing” role by winking at the guard.
Ari and Sorin give me Charisma Checks.
Ari successfully plays the part of the chased farmer as she bows her way out the gate, and the right hand guard pays her no attention.
Cypress and Rae also pass out of the gate with no trouble.
Sorin’s nat’ one means that the guard on his side thinks he really is trying to seduce them.
Ashley give me another another Charisma Check, if it’s high then the guard is into it, if it’s low then they’re pis-
Ashley: “One. It’s another one.”
The guard is on Sorin in an instant. They use the beard of their poleaxe (i think i said halberd in game) like a claw to grab Sorin’s shoulder and slam him into the wall. So that’s one D4 for the shaft basically being used as a staff in this, and one D4 for being thrown into the wall… and that’s max damage… Sorin takes 8 points of damage and the others turn to watch when they hear his “Ooof” followed by the guard’s screaming.
“Are you trying to seduce your way back into this palace! We all heard what you did inside and now you try winking at me!” The guard is screaming this just inches away from Sorin’s face, but Sorin rolls a nat’ 20 this time on his Con save and keeps his cool. Following this up with another nat’ 20 stealth roll to stop the guard from seeing through his disguise! “I know your face now!” the guard menaces at Sorin (unknowingly memorizing a disguise), “If you have even mud to send here you better send it with someone else, ‘cause if I find you trying to slut your way back into the palace, I’ll gut y’u!”
Sorin takes 1 more point of damage as the guard twirls him back around and out of the gate. “Get out of here you little dirt weasel!”
And with that, completely unnecessary scene and 9 damage brought on by a crit fail, we have left the yard… This is gonna be a long session for me isn’t it?
As our heroes walk down the Main Way a small voice comes from inside Rae’s potato sack, “Can I stop being a potato now?”
“Yeah and this wig is itchy.”
“We actually probably don’t want to go to the Inn looking like this,” Ari points out, “since we didn’t leave looking like this.”
“That's so true, you’re so smart,” Sorin drips at her. Seeing her expression he shakes himself, “right then, we should find an alley to take the disguises off.”
There’s an angry pause.
“If only we had someone who knew their way around the city, and where some alleys are…” Rae growls, scratching at her hair under the wig.
Sorin thinks for a minute (and i offer two options). There's the area over by Clark Street and Clerk Street; it's on the way to the Nort Gate and it’s got those bushes… but it’s more likely to have a people walking around because it’s safer (mechanically this will be a stealth roll to see if they are seen, but the players don’t know that). Or there’s that little jig in Jar Street in between the banks; it’s out of the way, but there probably won’t be anyone around there this late… (mechanically this will be a luck roll for if/who walks by, but the players don’t know that).
“Okay I know a place” Sorin says and leads them off the Main Way, down Kelemvor Road, across Beam Street and down Jar Road. In the spot between where the banks make the little street bend, and they get in the way so you can’t see the openings to the street. It’s about 10 feet wide, just wide enough for some people on horseback to pass by comfortably or one carriage but not two with one going opposite ways. Everyone looks around, then uses a handy bench to set down their cloaks and prop up boots as they readjust.
After wiping her makeup off, Ari tugs out her boot knife and palms it looking down the street. Give me a Perception Check. 15. To the south she can see a shadow coming around the corner. Now give me a Luck Roll, Ari since you’re the first to spot anything your roll will decide what this is. 3. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative for me just so we have an order of what happens. [on the DM side, this means that the bank guard coming around the corner will not be nice (<15) will be aggressive (<10), and will have 1D4 Thug friends (<5).]
As Rae finishes removing the wig, Ari nudges her and points. The shadow at the end of the path splits in two.
Cyprus lifts the bag off of his head and passes a perception check looking up the north side of the street. He sees the two figures walking towards them and turns to Sorin. Sorin (rolling another critical failure) is struggling out of his farmer's tunic, with his school clothes still on underneath.
On Rae and Ari’s side the shadows turn and two men walk up to us, one is small and rough with patchy beard like lichen blotches on a rock. The other is tall in a breastplate and swinging a baton. The one with the baton smacks it into his hand and looks over Air and Rae, “So…. What’s all this then?”
The small one hisses a smirk through yellow teeth.
Ari grins a fanged roguish grin, keeping her knife palmed under her arm. “Oh, nothing much now, just getting by. Taking a bit of a breather in the cold night air, you know how it goes.”
“And where you all headed?” The guard asks with his own toothy grin. ‘See, look at us just two fellas bumping into each other,’ the grin says, ‘not about to be a fight or anything’. The smaller man rolls his head on his shoulders and cracks his knuckles.
Eyes meeting like steel and flint, little white sparks in the darkness just waiting for the fire. We all clearly know there’s about to be a fight, but we’re just waiting to see who swings first.
On the other side, Cypress readies Wild Shape if anyone attacks him. He can see these two thugs whispering to each other and nodding.
What he can’t hear is the one asking, “Are these the guys Ajah tricked into trying to break into the bank!?”
“Must be, look, they even brought desiguises,” the other says, nodding to the robes on the bench.
Back on the south side Rae answers the guard, “Oh we’re going to the North Gate Inn,” intentionally getting the same wrong like an out of towner. She fails her deception check, and the guard winks at her.
The little one laughs a weezy nasal laugh, “Looks to me like maybe someone wanted to break into your bank here, Ajah! Good thing we was here to set things straight.”
“Just a misunderstanding,” Ajah says, “You all are simply on the wrong side of town, friends.” His smile looks almost genuine this time as he points out one arm, “See the Nort Gate Inn is on the Nort side of town.”
The little one snickers at the word play and cracks his knuckles again.
Ajah extends the baton out by Ari’s head, pointing behind her, but she doesn’t turn to look. “That way.” he says, then in a flash he cracks the hard wooden club against Ari’s head (3 damage). “GET ‘EM!”
The little one pulls out a shortsword, and on the other side one of the Thugs by Cypress readies a long knife of their own. Then the last Thug, looks at Sorin’s freshly uncovered wizard clothes and rushes him. He fails the strength check to slam Sorin into the wall but does manage the Dexterity check to push a balled up sock into Sorin’s mouth.
Sorin’s hand flies up in surprise and he wedges his own gag into the mouth of the thug. It’s not his sock, but the Immovable Ball, which Sorin tethers in space to a nearby brick, leaving it completely locked in the air with this Thug’s mouth bound around it.
Ari’s eyes are burning when she looks at the man that hit her. He smirks over the ridge of his gorget.
Brooke, laughing: “Oh he shouldn’t have done that, I’m gonna kill him. I cast hellish rebuke.” A dice roll later, “That’s 16 damage.”
Well he had 13 health.
Brooke: “Oh wait oh no.”
And you didn’t say anything about being nonlethal, so…
Brooke: “Oh no…”
Ari’s eyes are burning when she looks at the man that hit her. He smirks over the ridge of his gorget. But Air’s eyes are sparkling, literally. She speaks a word of infernal magic and points. The sparks leave her eyes and fly forward. In the short space between them, the two little balls of Infernal hatred don't even have time to come together. With a sizzle, they each sink into Ajah’s eyeballs before he can even let out a scream. Then there’s a soft wet ‘pop’ above his gorget and his empty torso slumps to its knees on the ground.
Then it slumps to the waist.
Then he lays flat on the road… a bit shorter than when he used to lay in his bed…
On the other side, next to Sorin, Cypress Wild Shape’s into a Giant Riding Lizard.
This technically uses up his action so there isn’t an attack, but there is a Thug right next to them pinned to the spot by an Immovable Ball, and that is a lot of mass suddenly appearing in thin air. So, go ahead and give me two D4 rolls of damage, one for the tail hitting him, and one for him hitting the ball.
Cypress: “max damage on both, 8 total.”
Cypress glows in a magic silhouette. The silhouette changes in shape as he rapidly canoes down one evolutionary stream and back up another. Ape, marmot, mouse, a-kind-of-frog-fish-thing, a lizard, an iguana, and finally the shape of the Giant Riding Lizard common to the northeastern prairie grass country. After the shape changes the glowing silhouette dims to the color of green scales, next comes the size change. Cypress’s 2’10” frame grows like elephant toothpaste to the 9' 6” frame of the snapping lizard. When he does, his tail uncurls and smacks hard against the Thug Sorin gagged, face with the Immovable Ball inside. The tail pushes the man backward, and when something has to give, the man's jaw isn’t fast enough to open around the Ball. Most of his front teeth stay in place as his face gets pushed back… then the teeth fall to the road with no mouth holding them up in space anymore.
Rae is up next and gut-checks the shorter man with a quick Eight-Seven (low jab followed by a quick uppercut) to just below his sternum. The man tries to smirk again, but instead coughs up some blood as Rae-the-Boxer dances back on quick shuffling feet.
The short smirking Thug is next in the order… but he's clutching the wall and holding up a finger so we’ll give him a minute.
Next, a very frightened Thug stabs a sword at Giant Riding Lizard Cypress for 7 damage as he tries to back away.
Then the bloody-gummed Thug body-checks Sorin into the wall for 6 damage and pinning his hands down shouts, “‘a- Dhee hell deed uu du meh!? Ehx et ehx et ehx et u baxtha-D!”
Ashley, laughing: “Perfect, I use Gaseous Form.”
Nope.
Ashley: “What!? What do you mean, ‘Nope.’? ”
That’s exactly why the thug gagged you and held your hand down. You need verbal and somatic components to cast. With him seeing your wizard close, gagging you, and stopping you from casting was this guy’s main mission.
Ashley, angry: Silence.
Ashley, angry: “Then I’m spitting out the dirty sock and kicking him.”
Okay yeah i’ll let that go as a bonus action for spitting out the sock. He takes 1 damage for the kick.
Ari attempts to use Sorin’s kick as a distraction for a sneak attack against the man holding him and bleeding from the mouth. She gets behind him, ready to strike… and hears the echo of a ‘pop’. She freezes up and misses her chance.
Giant Riding Lizard Cypress wastes no time in chomping down on the thug that just sliced him. He grabs the Thug around the middle for 4 damage, shakes him around for 5 damage, and then picks him up and starts scurrying up a nearby wall.
Rae punches again at the short coughing man holding up his finger. She does 18 damage… he had 9 hp left. She pulls her bloody fist out of him then turns around and punches the man holding Sorin. When she does, she can really feel the spikes of her new tattoo growing. The Thug has 6 health left and she knocks him dead with a solid 21 points of damage.
On top of the bank marquee Giant Riding Lizard Cypress opens his mouth and sticks out a long thick pink tongue. The tongue slowly slides the squirming thug out of his mouth. He drops. We hear a loud crack as he hits the immovable ball, then another with which he hits the ground. The thug stands up, throws his loose flapping right arm over his left shoulder. He looks around in a panic then runs away into the night.
Sorin steps forward from the wall, turns off and pockets the Immovable Ball.
Giant Riding Lizard Cypress crawls down off the building.
Ari takes one look around and runs off.
Rae takes off after her calling for her to wait and that’s it’s okay.
Sorin moves to go after them, but Cypress grabs the boy's arm and shakes his hobbit head. “Best leave it to Rae this time I think.”
Sorin groans and turns around, then with his usual tact, “Fine, but then I’m looting these bodies!”
“Fine, I'll let you go through their stuff for coins, but then you have to help me lay them out properly.”
The two stare at each other in silence, and Sorin puts out a hand, “Deal.”
For loot, Sorin, give me a D6. [on the DM side, the number will be the number of D10’s rolled and the scale of coins {1=1D10 Copper, 2=2d10 Silver, 3=3D10 Gold, 4=2D10 Copper+2D10 Gold, 5=2D10 Silver+3D10 Gold, 6= 6D10 gold} it’s an easy and reliable system for how much a gang of Thugs might have on them after a night of thugging.]
After Sorin pocket’s his 16 gold, he helps Cypress lay out the bodies in a respectful line with the worst injuries covered.
Cypress goes to each one in turn and prays over them. This act of kindness gives Cypress a D4 guidance from Sheela to add some time just like inspiration.
We’ll pan away now, following power walking Ari and Rae up the North Road, across the courtyard, into the Nort Gate Inn, up the stairs, around the corner, down the hall, through the door and now standing over the rug in their room. We see them in the middle of a heated argument.
“-can’t just say that, Rae! That’s a real title, a real thing! You’re asking to be part of my court!”
“I am.” Rae says flatly.
“You don’t even know-”
“I know you.”
“And you don’t!”
“I mean it.” Rae says, again calm as milk as Ari throws up her hands in frustration.
“I could gore you right now.”
“Probably.”
“Stop being so calm!”
“No.” Rae smiles.
Ari’s anger burns out and the gloomy sadness floods back in. “Why would you want to protect... this… I just end up hurting everybody.”
“Only people trying to hurt you.”
“I’ve done it a lot though, and I know I'm likely to do it again.”
“Were you there in that last fight, did you see me just put my fist THROUGH a guy!?”
Ari starts counting off on the fingers, “I Fireballed a single guy into a burnt chicken, I gored a guy to death on my own horns, I keep threatening Sorin-” The both make a ‘meh’ face and she keeps going, “-and I blew up a guys head with my eyes!”
There is a long pause and Rae takes a step forward. “Protectorate is a title right?”
“Yes…”
“Protector in all things, that’s the oath, right?”
“Yess…”
Rae kneels in front of Ari and looks up. “Then let me protect you. And that includes protecting you from you. Let me stand in and stop you from going too far, let me get in your way and help you learn to hold back. I can take it. I promise. And I want to help!”
After a long pause Ari says, “on one condition… you have to promise to stop me if… if i look like i’m losing myself.” she says, looking away.
Rae stands up and puts a hand on her shoulder, then hugs her friend. “Of course. I understand.”
After a few tears, Ari explains the ceremony and tells Rae to build up the fire.
Reader i made a point of asking the players here and both are agreed that this is NOT romantic. That this scene is a tender moment, but does NOT lead to a romance between these two.
Ari spends a minute with her head in the flames, letting her horns soak up the fire. When she turns around, Rae is kneeling, facing away from her with her shirt open and her back bared. “I’m ready.”
Ari kneels down behind her and slowly presses her cherry-red horns to Rae’s back. Rae holds still, flexing her back muscles and holding in a scream.
After the shape of her horns is branded to Rae’s back Ari stutters a bit. “I-I’m gonna do the kiss part now. It doesn’t mean anything though, it should be my dad even, you know, the kiss of the king… yeah anyways,” She plants a small peck in the gap between the horns now burnt into Raelle’s shoulder blades. When she does, she whispers the Infernal words against Rae’s skin and the brand heals and hardens to a rock hard scar as she speaks.
Then she helps Rae up off the floor.
When she stands back up, Raelle is now also a Royal Protectorate. Mechanically she permanently loses 1 Hp (from the brand) but gains the Protection ability from the Fighter handbook, only without the need for a shield.
Cypress and Sorin, what’re you up to, any big character developments?
Made with THIS AI generator
“Sandwiches! Sandwiches! Late night sandwiches for drunk adventures!” The voice isn’t calling out loud, but it carries softly in the near empty street.
“Think we should get some food to bring back to the girls?”
Cypress nods and the two Thug Muggers walk over to the little halfling standing on top of her barrel. When they approach the hobbit steps down and opens the barrel to show a stash of paper-wrapped oblongs inside. She pulls out two, “Gnihton Sandwiches friends, 2 gold each.”
Cypress buys four of the little wrapped loaves. And as we walk away-
Nymbus, interrupting: “Stop, no wait, stop. I am eating mine right there.”
I thought you were getting these to take back-
Nymbus: “Uh huh, we are, but I am opening mine and eating it right there.”
Um, okay well she-
Nymbus: “Right there, right now, making direct eye contact with the seller.”
Oh come on! That’s not very-
Nymbus: “NOO!”
Cypress grabs the seller's shirt sleeve as they try to walk away, then holding the sandwich in the other hand, they unwrap the paper with their teeth. The loaf smells fresh and delicious. Making direct eye contact with the frightened seller, Cypress takes a bite. The bread is warm and soft and - his teeth click together in the middle - hollow. Gnihton > nothing Sandwich, a hollow loaf of bread stuffed with good smelling air… you know like Jimmy John's free smells… but for money.
The seller-
Nymbus, interrupting: “I Wild Shape and attack her!”
What!? No! You can’t just-
Nymbus, angry: “I get one hour a day, and there is no way that fight took an hour-”
Yeah but-
Nymbus, furious: “I turn into a Giant Riding Lizard. And I. Pick. Her. Up. In. My. Mouth!”
…Wild Shape takes an action for you can do that but they’ll run away.
Nymbus: “I don’t care, I chase them.”
Oh come on! You live here now! You can’t just-
Nymbus: “Watch me.”
Cypress starts to change and the seller instantly flees. They run down the North Road in a panic and jump over the steam, running into the WoodRow open plaza. Swearing and panting they turn to look and see Giant Riding Lizard Cypress is right behind them and gaining. The little halfling starts running again, now screaming for help! “Attack! Attack! I’m being attacked!”
Five of the carpenters who are out late, tending to the drying piles, turn their lanterns on the scene.
Giant Riding Lizard Cypress catches up to the running hobbit woman and trips her with an extended talon. She falls to the ground screaming for mercy and aid. Giant Riding Lizard Cypress rears up on their hind legs, then slams down on top of the halfling, letting out a fearsome roar!
Two of the woodworkers are shouting for help now and banging at the drums on their shops (like big wooden block bells). The other three swing axes and sticks at Giant Riding Lizard Cypress narrowly missing them.
Cypress Wild Shape’s back into his normal form and stares at the cowering sandwich seller. “Do! Better!” He wipes off his mouth, “Stop scamming the people of this city!”
And on that note the halfling sandwich merchant fails a Con save, and passes out.
One of the woodworkers, a young gal scared senseless at watching a monster come charging in, try to eat a halfling, then turn into a halfling, decides Cypress must be a shapeshifter and swings.
The rough wooden club does seven damage, but Cypress ignores it and leans forward to check the seller’s pulse.
At this point, Sorin, now disguised as a constable after using Disguise Self, comes charging in panting, “What’s all this then!?”
As frantic woodworkers try to explain, Sorin grabs Cypress’s arm and starts pulling him out of this scene. “Right then you’re coming with me.”
A little ways down the road, with Sorin and Cypress both back to normal, they walk into the Nort Gate Inn.
As they walk up the stairs, Sorin voices an issue clearly on his mind, “So when they talked about like citizenship classes and teaching you our ways here… you do know you shouldn’t do THAT, right?”
…
“RIGHT!?”
And so we’ll leave off with a long rest. Honestly i had a whole dramatic outro planned and everything, but today has been just completely unhinged. So i’m leaving it there and we can try again next week. In the words of my angry friend, “Do. Better.” and i’m talking to you too, dice. Roll. Better.
I can’t balance an actual story on top of this much insanity.
Phil: Here, I'll—I'll take your bags.
Tabitha: Uh—wait. How's your—what was it? Super arthritis?
Phil: Oh, markedly worse, thank you. Every movement is an agony. A silent, torturous prayer to a God that feeds on my suffering. I'm copin' a bit better lately, though.
Tabitha: O—oh? That's good to hear. Did—did you start some new antiinflammatories?
Phil: Nope. I've been distracted by my adult onset mega rickets. Yep. A severe lack of Vitamin D has my legs bowed out into permanent question marks.
Tabitha: Ahh… I—
Phil: The question is, of course, how I manage to open my eyes day in and day out when consciousness brings only a hellish symphony of physical and spiritual agony that borders on the transcendent.
Tabitha: You—you—you have—
Phil: This is, of course, a question for which neither God nor man would dare to answer, so I'll continue to twirl in a waking purgatory in which my corporeal form is animated only by my own misery and fear of what lies beyond! Anyway, the Elantra's right over here on the left.
-Tabtha Bigcity & Phil Pibbles — Syndee and Justin McElroy, “Sawbones: A Medicine Called Christmas 2: A Royal Pain (~3:00)”
Table talk:
This session was ... chaotic… and that’s why i left off with that quote. I actually had a regular quote that was relevant and had hints about what's happening and everything… and then the session was absolute madness… So i ended it with that one because it’s a favorite of mine and has some real gremlin energy… just like my players. I guess this is what happens when i let the players run loose for 3 weeks. Lesson learned, these people NEED structure or else bad things happen to my flimsy little fantasy world!
Oh and by the way, you got 650 Xp for the Thug fight, it doesn’t even really rank as Easy though.
Also i have, yet again, added more stuff on the map, so feel free to poke around on it some more.
